I'm choking in a sea of anglo-saxon sarcasm. Maybe higher education breeds them. Maybe little custom cafes attract them. Maybe all the glitz and glamour of hollywood magnetizes the school, but rich people candor abounds here in UCLA.

Different mannerisms construct most of my childhood. Conversations were funny and clever because they sounded amusing. Unlike my bubble gum days, college humor is funny because the content is hilarious.

For instance:

"You talk to me?" - uttered in a high squeal, or a burly man voice, this little phrase is an instant classic. Used around UCLA, this earns quizzlical looks, and questions about active drug participation. Looking for jokes is a black room with no lights, and a spiked carpet. Ouch, but many times over. So what IS funny in my demographic?

Sarcasm. Sarcasm isn't the whole story. Wit is a cousin; cleverness its ally. Perhaps some examples would help. Keep in mind, these phrases are intended to be absent of tone, excitability, and any resemblance to cartoon characters.

"Why is it that everytime you're single, all you are see are couples? And then why is it everytime you're in a couple, all you see are hookers?"

A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.
-- Demetri Martin

Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.
-- Demetri Martin

Make crime pay - become a lawyer.
-- Will Rogers

At close examination, my head hurts. My chinese american genes begin to throb. How do I craft sentences or phrases in the same vein? Can I? Chinese Americans have absent history in comedy. I indict my shortcomings. Even reading the sentences now, a mist clouds my eyes. I KNOW these humor people.

It's almost as if I need to plan what I am going to say. Planned words? Sounds smartish, another quality which is lacking. Well thought out speech is similar to reading comprehension; it doesn't happen.

Summary: Maybe they were right after all, reading does help?