Anthrax Value Meal

Americans eat fries not fruit. We chose burritos over berries. All people know this. Ask high school scum; he jumps punks for fried chicken, not for bananas. Not only do we eat greasy wagon mutton, but we eat it at speeds up to 100 mph.

And we are afraid of death.

Aside from the skydiving, base jumping, driving in traffic, and football with out cups, danger is everywhere. And we still don't care what we eat. And average people eat on a tri-daily basis. Even seclusion from moving objects and sunlight will still require food.

I have yet to see a food saying 100% death free. Eating apples is taking a chance at choking, or maybe diabetes because of the sugar. Each time the mouth opens, the dice are rolled on our lives. Roll a six and you die. If you eat KFC, you flip a coin. Heads, your dead, tails you are on pump.

And we are still afraid of death.

Fear glazes every phase of our day. Fear of car crash on the highway, fear of lead poisoning in the water, fear of bearded men being terrorists, and that's not even accounting for the psychological time bombs stuck in our sub conscious. Who can sleep?

I can, once I eat some BBQ ribs.

So apparently people are afraid of dying quickly, not dying slowly. This would explain cigarette addiction, consumption of anything fried, football, bloody knuckles, and a slew of other human activities that have no logical evolutionary function. And we call our species logical.

Maybe chemicals wouldn't be so bad if we put them in food. Lead based chicken. Asbestos beef. And of course, the Anthrax value meal. The glass chips burger comes with a side of tranquilizer shake (it's strong enough for any cow). These things won't kill you..... well right now at least.

Summary: You laugh, but your extra value meal isn't far off.