I can't identify zombies

Everyone knows that zombies smell bad, but I beg to differ.

Sure, there are the "stereotyped" zombies from every horror film. They have the matted hair, the ugly dental work, and the waistline that is the envy of all the super models. But I suspect there are more types of zombies than these.

For instance, there are work-addict-zombies. These zombie grow in a garden of underpaid overtime work in a poorly ventilated office. Late at night, groaning erupts from carpeted cubicles as zombie co-workers wander the halls.

Video game zombies now appear during the day. Back in the day video games were great late night entertainment. Can't play tennis when its dark, but now.... you can play pong! Once the daylight returned, games were set aside and the real thing was played. These days, the games are BETTER than real life. Ok ok, this is not completely true, but you must admit, graphics are good. Would you like to think about your 1 bedroom studio apt, or fight in a huge castle with orcs, trolls, and treasure? Which sounds more fantastic. Ok this question only works on guys. Girls would be saying "i have my own place? How much money do i have to decorate? Is it near a mall?"

And now there are mainstream Zombies. These don't smell, these don't dress drabby. These zombies eat, go to work, and drive normal cars.

So what is zombie about them? Well, talk to any of them, and see how many of these people really think for themselves. I am one of these people. Last time i checked a lot of my thoughts, or talking points, it wasn't pretty. My topics would often bounce from simple materialism to plain re-hash of internet stories. I'm a regular repeating news board. When was my last original thought? Isn't life more than buying new computers, getting HD everything, and saving up for a house to hold it all?

Are there no other choices?

So as in all things, pharisee or not, don't let appearances fool you. The movies got that much right. The hot chick is the vampire, the dead guy is alive, and chances are your friends are under mind control from the internet. Just look for the little plug for the cable in the back of their heads :)

Summary: Live a little. No, live a lot.