High Resistance Skills

I like to curl iron from time to time. There’s nothing better knowing you can curl a lot of steel with one arm. Who cares if you have no shoulders, show those ladies your nice biceps. My new human trick is crushing cans with my hand. I haven’t mastered it yet, but trust me, it’ll be astounding.

Feats of strength are what I call high resistance skills. Another high resistance skill is drawing or reading. The more difficult the book or art piece, the better the person becomes. I’ve also noticed over-eating is a high resistance skill. The more food a person eats, the better he becomes at imitating Shamu. I’ve been told that abstaining from motor oil and tune ups makes your car work harder; thus makes it stronger. The jury’s still out on that one.

Even though no one will admit it, every group of friends houses one high resistance friend. There’s always one guy that exists just to make you funnier, nicer, smarter, etc. Simon was that friend for me. Simon had all the coolest electronics and toys, but was as boring as bricks. He had a mullet most of the time. The rest of the time, his hair was stylized for any early glam-rock bands. At least he made the rest of us cooler.

If you think that, “no, no that’s not true.” It’s probably because YOU are THAT friend.

My new theory is that Ugly company will give me the resistance I need to blossom to attractiveness. I am covertly conducting testing now. If you read my Xanga, you are not in the Uggo pool. (someone earlier was worried if they were my friend, because they wanted to be good looking. See earlier postings)

I used to think that blogging was also a High Resistance Skill, but looking at my earlier entries….

Summary: Guess not.